Heart Check: We Have To Stop Attaching Ourselves to People

Let's do a heart check today.

If you're a creative, you already know. When something is off in your heart, it shows up in your work. You sit down to design, to write, to build, and the well is dry. The mind isn't right. And we wonder why we can't create.

I've been an art director and creative director in the corporate world for almost 18 years now. From magazines to marketing to building my own studio. And if there's one thing I've learned the hard way (more than once), it's this: stop attaching yourself to people.

I know. That sounds harsh. Stay with me.

A few years ago I lost a job I loved. Six years at a company, working under a boss I genuinely adored. We had this running joke. "You have to retire here, promise?" I promised. But the brand went under, the budget dried up, and just like that, I wasn't an art director anymore.

And I cried. Not because of the paycheck. Because of the title.

I didn't realize it until that moment, but I had wrapped my whole identity around being "the art director." I was carrying it like a chip on my shoulder. When it disappeared, I felt like I disappeared with it. I remember asking my husband, "What am I now? Who am I?"

That's when the Lord handed me Jeremiah 17:5.

"Cursed is the man who trusts in and relies on mankind, making weak, faulty human flesh his strength, and whose mind and heart turns away from the Lord."

Cursed. That word stopped me. Because what is a cursed mind? It's the one that spirals. What did I do wrong? How could they do that to me? Why didn't she call? That haywire, looping, restless mind. That's what happens when we make people our source.

And I had done it. Not because anyone was a villain. Because I was looking sideways for what only God can give.

Here's what I wish someone had told me sooner. The title didn't make me a creative. I was the creative. The hand on the plow, the eye behind the design. That was always me. The position was just a chair I was sitting in for a season.

After that job, I jumped into another situation way too fast. A woman I barely knew reached out. She saw I was free and asked me to help her build her marketing company from scratch. No name, no logo, nothing. I built it. Named it. Branded it. Hyped her up every single day because that's just who I am. I'm a cheerleader.

And then one day, when she got the validation she'd been chasing from the world, she let me go.

I didn't see it coming. Of course I didn't. I was too busy being attached. To her. To the project. To being needed.

That second goodbye is the one that finally taught me. I sat with the hurt long enough to hear what God was saying underneath it. You're still trusting people. You're still doing this for them.

So I made a shift. Every campaign, every design, every late night. Lord, this is for You. Not for the boss. Not for the title. Not for the pat on the back. For You.

And friend, my whole creative life cracked open after that. Discernment showed up. Patterns started making sense. I stopped collapsing every time someone disappointed me, because I wasn't building on them anymore.

A few more things I've learned in this season, in case you need them today.

Believe actions, not words. People will tell you who they are all day long. Watch how they move. The Lord has been pressing this on me for two years straight. Believe the walk, not the talk.

The enemy isolates. If someone in your life keeps pulling you away from your people, your community, your discernment, pay attention. Isolation is a tactic.

Frustration is fuel, not a hate campaign. If you keep thinking, "I could do this better. Creatives deserve better. This system is broken," okay. Go build the better thing. That frustration is your calling poking at you. It's not a reason to vent online to twenty strangers. It's a reason to put your hand to the plow.

Sit with it before you post it. I know the temptation. Something hurts and you want to type it out and let everyone see. But validation seeking is just a cursed mind in nicer clothes. Sit with it. Take it to God. Ask why it's hitting you the way it is. Most of the time, the answer is more about you than about them.

I started R16 Creatives because I wanted to build the kind of place I always wished existed for creatives. No pyramid. No competition with the people on my team. Just shoulder to shoulder, doing the work for the One who actually gave us the gifts in the first place.

So here's your heart check today. What's in your hands right now? Not what's in theirs. Yours. Build that. In excellence. For God. And let the rest go.

I'll meet you in the work.

Candice

P.S. If you want more of these conversations, come hang out at https://www.r16creatives.com/community.